Why is a "war on terrorism" so difficult to fight?

Why is a "war on terrorism" so difficult to fight?
Terrorism is a complex problem with many diverse causes. Consequently no single effective method to counter it exists. To combat terrorism, one must first understand the underlying motivations for each particular group's actions. Then a strategy needs to be developed based on those findings. Regardless, it is difficult to fight terrorism without endangering civil liberties, such as is the case in Northern Ireland. Many innocent people get caught in the cross-fire. Ending terrorist threats requires imaginative and fluid thinking, whether to attack the roots of terrorism or neutralize a particular group.

According to terrorism expert Paul Wilkinson the general principles which have the best track record in reducing terrorism include:

"No surrender to the terrorists, and an absolute determination to defeat terrorism within the framework of the rule of law and the democratic process;"

"No deals and no concessions, even in the face of the most severe intimidation and blackmail;"

"An intensified effort to bring terrorists to justice by prosecution and conviction before courts of law;"

"Tough measures to penalize the state sponsors who give terrorist movements safe haven, explosives, cash and moral and diplomatic support;"

"A determination never to allow terrorist intimidation to block or derail international diplomatic efforts to resolve major political conflicts in strife-torn regions, such as the Middle East. In many such areas terrorism has become a major threat to peace and stability, and its suppression therefore is in the common interests of international society."
One reason that the war on terrorism is so difficult to fight is because many of the terrorist cells are hidden. In addition to being hidden they are spread all over the world. In fact, there are many terrorists right here in the United States at this very moment. The United States has very porous borders. This means that it is fairly easy for people to travel in and out of the country. Of course it has been harder since the attacks on 9/11 but it still is possible.

There are also groups of terrorists called "sleeper cells" which means that they are dormant or on standby. One of the purposes of these kinds of groups is to simply blend in and remain undetected until they are told to carry out the terrorist attack. These people are also difficult to find.
In my opinion, this is because terrorism is not a country. You can't just take over all the land of country X and that means terrorism is done. In WWII, once we conquered Germany, the war in Europe was over. But there's no place that we can conquer to end the war on terror.

Also, the war on terror is harder because we are trying to stop individuals or small groups of people from doing things that will hurt us. It is hard to detect one individual trying to carry out an attack.

Finally, ending terrorism is as much about changing people's minds as it is about fighting. We have to make people not hate us, and that's hard to do.
A war on terrorism is difficult to fight due to its nature. Terrorism by definition is the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes. It may also be seen as a state of fear and submission produced by terrorization. The fact that terrorism has such a psychological impact means it affects everyone differently. It is a subjective response to an event. Anything that is subjective will be difficult to overcome for a large group of people, because people's responses will be different. Another reason that a "war on terrorism" is difficult to fight is that the individuals perpetrating the acts are diverse and spread out across the globe. It is difficult for the government to pin down the core of the group to cut off power. This is because there are so many different cores.
Terrorism is not isolated, nor easy to locate. Sure, we have the "hot spots" where some of them universally operate, however, that is just the tip of the iceberg.

A truly hardcore terrorist-bound organization is very secretive. It is indeed an organization, whose operations are no different than the CIA, FBI and such. Saying that- imagine how crazy it would be if the same rules of engagement given to OUR top secret groups is no different that those of the Taliban. And, the thing is, that they are.

This is why the war on terrorism is so hard to fight: Because it takes a lot of people to track the doings of a group just as strong and organized as our best military forces , yet, it takes also a separate group to understand their subcultural disdain for the American way of life. On top of that, who's to say what happens next? They are secretive and self-protective.

It will take a while (even much more so than now) to figure them out in full.
The war on terrorism is so challenging because of its unconventional nature. Unlike a traditional war that takes place on a definite battlefield, with clearly defined armies, and where the enemy is visible, the war on terror's difficulty is its elusive nature. The "enemy" can strike at any time, with any means, and through any venue. Traditionalism goes out the window in such a setting. Even the weapons are non- traditional. Bombs can be used, but cell phones could also be used as detonating devices. Guns might be used, but more likely devices like razors or chemicals would be employed. The terrorist has a distinct advantage in that they only have to be right once, while the opponent has to be right all the time in order to prevent disaster, loss of life, and public panic.
War on terror is very hard to fight for multiple reasons. First, the global separation of terrorist cell are very difficult to pinpoint. They are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. For example, we are still looking for Osama bin Laden after all these years. Connected to this point, terrorist are usually invisible. This fact alone make fighting terrorist almost impossible. Second, terrorists are always in the context of civilians and live among them. So, the act of discerning who is and is not a terrorist is very hard. Third, we need to realize that terrorists are very smart and they have the advantage of observing their places of attack. They always have the element of surprise.
The War on Terror is hard to fight because instead of having one big enemy that we can name and find, we have many little ones. Additionally, our enemies are harbored in countries in the Middle East with which we have few positive relations. They also attack in small groups or alone and aren't afraid to die.

Fighting Terrorism

Fighting Terrorism
INTRODUCTION
Terrorism is the systematic use of terror, especially as a means of coercion. In the international community, however, terrorism has no universally agreed, legally binding, criminal law definition.
Common definitions of terrorism refer only to those violent acts which are intended to create fear (terror), are perpetrated for a religious, political or, ideological goal; and deliberately target or disregard the safety of non-combatants (civilians). Some definitions now include acts of unlawful violence and war. The use of similar tactics by criminal organizations for protection rackets or to enforce a code of silence is usually not labeled terrorism though these same actions may be labeled terrorism when done by a politically motivated group.
The word "terrorism" is politically and emotionally charged, and this greatly compounds the difficulty of providing a precise definition. Studies have found over 100 definitions of “terrorism”. The concept of terrorism may itself be controversial as it is often used by state authorities (and individuals with access to state support) to delegitimize political or other opponents, and potentially legitimize the state's own use of armed force against opponents (such use of force may itself be described as "terror" by opponents of the state).

Terrorism has been practiced by a broad array of political organizations for furthering their objectives. It has been practiced by both right-wing and left-wing political parties, nationalistic groups, religious groups, revolutionaries, and ruling governments. An abiding characteristic is the indiscriminate use of violence against noncombatants for the purpose of gaining publicity for a group, cause, or individual. The symbolism of terrorism can leverage human fear to help achieve these goals

Do's and Don'ts for a Superpower
Be feared!
Identify the type of terrorists you face, and know your enemy as well as you possibly can. Although tactics may be similar, strategies for dealing with practical vs. apocalyptic terrorists can differ widely. Practical terrorists may have legitimate grievances that deserve consideration, although their methods cannot be tolerated. Apocalyptic terrorists, no matter their rhetoric, seek your destruction and must be killed to the last man. The apt metaphor is cancer: you cannot hope for success if you only cut out part of the tumor. For the apocalyptic terrorist, evading your efforts can easily be turned into a public triumph. Our bloodiest successes will create far fewer terrorists and sympathizers than our failures.

Do not be afraid to be powerful. Cold War-era gambits of proportionate response and dialog may have some utility in dealing with practical terrorists, but they are counter-productive in dealing with apocalyptic terrorists. Our great strengths are wealth and raw power. When we fail to bring those strengths to bear, we contribute to our own defeat. For a superpower to think small, which has been our habit across the last decade, at least, is self-defeating folly. Our responses to terrorist acts should make the world gasp!

Speak bluntly. Euphemisms are interpreted as weakness by our enemies and mislead the American people. Speak of killing terrorists and destroying their organizations. Timid speech leads to timid actions. Explain when necessary, but do not apologize. Expressions of regret are never seen as a mark of decency by terrorists or their supporters, but only as a sign that our will is faltering. Blame the terrorists as the root cause whenever operations have unintended negative consequences. Never go on the rhetorical defensive.

Concentrate on winning the propaganda war where it is winnable. Focus on keeping or enhancing the support from allies and well-disposed clients, but do not waste an inordinate amount of effort trying to win unwinnable hearts and minds. Convince hostile populations through victory.

Do not be drawn into a public dialog with terrorists, especially not with apocalyptic terrorists. You cannot win. You legitimize the terrorists by addressing them even through a third medium, and their extravagant claims will resound more successfully on their own home ground than anything you can say. Ignore absurd accusations, and never let the enemy's claims slow or sidetrack you. The terrorist wants you to react, and your best means of unbalancing him and his plan is to ignore his accusations.

Avoid planning creep. Within our vast bureaucratic system, too many voices compete for attention and innumerable agendas, often selfish and personal - intrude on any attempt to act decisively. Focus on the basic mission: the destruction of the terrorists with all the moral, intellectual and practical rigor you can bring to bear. All other issues, from future nation building, to alliance consensus, to humanitarian concerns are secondary.

Maintain resolve. Especially in the Middle East and Central Asia, experts and diplomats will always present you with a multitude of good reasons for doing nothing, or for doing too little (or for doing exactly the wrong thing). Fight as hard as you can within the system to prevent diplomats from gaining influence over the strategic campaign. Although their intentions are often good, our diplomats and their obsolete strategic views are the terrorist's unwitting allies and diplomats are extremely jealous of military success and military authority in their region (where their expertise is never as deep or subtle as they believe it to be). Beyond the problem with our diplomats, the broader forces of bureaucratic entropy are an internal threat. The counter-terrorist campaign must be not only resolute, but constantly self-rejuvenating in ideas, techniques, military and inter-agency combinations, and sheer energy. Old hands must be stimulated constantly by new ideas.

When in doubt, hit harder than you think necessary. Success will be forgiven. Even the best-intentioned failure will not. When military force is used against terrorist networks, it should be used with such power that it stuns even our allies. We must get over our cowardice in means. While small-scale raids and other knifepoint operations are useful against individual targets, broader operations should be overwhelming. Of course, targeting limitations may inhibit some efforts but whenever possible, maximum force should be used in simultaneous operations at the very beginning of a campaign. Do not hesitate to supplement initial target lists with extensive bombing attacks on nothing if they can increase the initial psychological impact. Demonstrate power whenever you can. Show; don't tell!

Whenever legal conditions permit, kill terrorists on the spot (do not give them a chance to surrender, if you can help it). Contrary to academic wisdom, the surest way to make a martyr of a terrorist is to capture, convict and imprison him, leading to endless efforts by sympathizers to stage kidnappings, hijacking and other events intended to liberate the imprisoned terrorist(s). This is war, not law enforcement.

. Never listen to those who warn that ferocity on our part reduces us to the level of the terrorists. That is the argument of the campus, not of the battlefield, and it insults America's service members and the American people. Historically, we have proven, time after time, that we can do a tough, dirty job for our country without any damage to our nation's moral fabric (Hiroshima and Nagasaki did not interfere with American democracy, values or behavior).

Spare and protect innocent civilians whenever possible, but: do not let the prospect of civilian casualties interfere with ultimate mission accomplishment. This is a fight to protect the American people, and we must do so whatever the cost, or the price in American lives may be devastating. In a choice between them, and us the choice is always us.

Do not allow the terrorists to hide behind religion. Apocalyptic terrorists cite religion as a justification for attacking us; in turn, we cannot let them hide behind religious holidays, taboos, strictures or even sacred terrain. We must establish a consistent reputation for relentless pursuit and destruction of those who kill our citizens. Until we do this, our hesitation will continue to strengthen our enemy's ranks and his resolve.

Do not allow third parties to broker a peace, a truce, or any pause in operations. One of the most difficult challenges in fighting terrorism on a global scale is the drag produced by nervous allies. We must be single-minded. The best thing we can do for our allies in the long-term is to be so resolute and so strong that they value their alliance with us all the more. We must recognize the innate strength of our position and stop allowing regional leaders with counterproductive local agendas to subdue or dilute our efforts.

Don't flinch. If an operation goes awry and friendly casualties are unexpectedly high, immediately bolster morale and the military's image by striking back swiftly in a manner that inflicts the maximum possible number of casualties on the enemy and his supporters. Hit back as graphically as possible, to impress upon the local and regional players that you weren't badly hurt or deterred in the least.

Do not worry about alienating already-hostile populations.
Whenever possible, humiliate your enemy in the eyes of his own people. Do not try to use reasonable arguments against him. Shame him publicly, in any way you can. Create doubt where you cannot excite support. Most apocalyptic terrorists, especially, come from cultures of male vanity. Disgrace them at every opportunity. Done successfully, this both degrades them in the eyes of their followers and supporters, and provokes the terrorist to respond, increasing his vulnerability.

If the terrorists hide, strike what they hold dear, using clandestine means and, whenever possible, foreign agents to provoke them to break cover and react. Do not be squeamish. Your enemy is not. Subtlety is not superpower strength but the raw power to do that, which is necessary, is our great advantage. We forget that, while the world may happily chide or accuse us-or complain of our inhumanity-no one can stop us if we maintain our strength of will. Much of the world will complain no matter what we do. Hatred of America is the default position of failed individuals and failing states around the world, in every civilization, and there is nothing we can do to change their minds. We refuse to understand how much of humanity will find excuses for evil, so long as the evil strikes those who are more successful than the apologists themselves. This is as true of American academics, whose eagerness to declare our military efforts a failure is unflagging, or European clerics, who still cannot forgive America's magnanimity at the end of World War II, as it is of unemployed Egyptians or Pakistanis. The psychologically marginalized are at least as dangerous as the physically deprived.

Do not allow the terrorists sanctuary in any country, at any time, under any circumstances. Counter-terrorist operations must, above all, be relentless. This does not necessarily mean that military operations will be constantly underway sometimes it will be surveillance efforts, or deception plans, or operations by other agencies. But the overall effort must never pause for breath. We must be faster, more resolute, more resourceful and, ultimately, even more uncompromising than our enemies.

Never declare victory. Announce successes and milestones. But never give the terrorists a chance to embarrass you after a public pronouncement that the war is over.

Impress upon the minds of terrorists and potential terrorists everywhere, and upon the populations and governments inclined to support them, that American retaliation will be powerful and uncompromising. You will never deter fanatics, but you can frighten those who might support, harbor or attempt to use terrorists for their own ends. Our basic task in the world today is to restore a sense of American power, capabilities and resolve. We must be hard, or we will be struck wherever we are soft. It is folly for charity to precede victory. First win, then unclench your fist.
Do everything possible to make terrorists and their active supporters live in terror themselves. Turn the tide psychologically and practically. While this will not deter hard-core apocalyptic terrorists, it will dissipate their energies as they try to defend themselves and fear will deter many less-committed supporters of terror. Do not be distracted by the baggage of the term assassination. This is a war. The enemy, whether a hijacker or a financier, violates the laws of war by his refusal to wear a uniform and by purposely targeting civilians. He is by definition a war criminal. On our soil, he is either a spy or a saboteur, and not entitled to the protections of the U.S. Constitution. Those who abet terrorists must grow afraid to turn out the lights to go to sleep.

Never accept the consensus of the Washington intelligentsia, which looks backward to past failures, not forward to future successes.
In dealing with Islamic apocalyptic terrorists, remember that their most cherished symbols are fewer and far more vulnerable than are the West's. Ultimately, no potential target can be regarded as off-limits when the United States is threatened with mass casualties. Worry less about offending foreign sensibilities and more about protecting Americans.
Do not look for answers in recent history, which is still unclear and subject to personal emotion. Begin with the study of the classical world, specifically Rome, which is the nearest model to the present-day United States. Mild with subject peoples, to whom they brought the rule of ethical law, the Romans in their rise and at their apogee were implacable with their enemies. The utter destruction of Carthage brought centuries of local peace, while the later empire's attempts to appease barbarians consistently failed!
CONCLUSION
Since terrorism is a global issue, counter-terrorism measures are also a global issue which requires cooperation and collaboration of multi-dimensional groups such as academicians representing the theoretical and research part, policymakers representing the coordination and authorization part and professionals representing the practical and real life experience.

Ways to Nurture Your Child

Some kids seem to be born with more self-esteem than others, but there's a lot you can do to promote your child's emotional well-being — a stronger sense of self can make your child more emotionally resilient when problems come his way.
Providing for your child's physical needs (food, shelter, clothing) is a fairly straightforward matter. Trying to provide for your child's emotional needs can be trickier. Although there are many parenting styles, most experts agree on some general guidelines for nurturing a child's emotional health and laying the ground work for an emotionally healthy adulthood.

• Be aware of stages in child development so you don't expect too much or too little from your child.
• Encourage your child to express his or her feelings; respect those feelings. Let your child know that everyone experiences pain, fear, anger, and anxiety. Try to learn the source of these feelings. Help your child express anger positively, without resorting to violence.
• Promote mutual respect and trust. Keep your voice level down — even when you don't agree. Keep communication channels open.
• Listen to your child. Use words and examples your child can understand. Encourage questions. Provide comfort and assurance. Be honest. Focus on the positives. Express your willingness to talk about any subject.
• Look at your own problem-solving and coping skills. Are you setting a good example? Seek help if you are overwhelmed by your child's feelings or behaviors, or if you are unable to control your own frustration or anger.

FURTHER INFORMATION ON BRINGING UP CHILDREN MORE
Encourage your child's talents and accept limitations. Set goals based on the child's abilities and interests — not someone else's expectations. Celebrate accomplishments. Don't compare your child's abilities to those of other children; appreciate the uniqueness of your child. Spend time regularly with your child. Of course we want our kids to be compassionate and sensitive to other people’s feelings. The problem is that many kids’ empathy potential is greatly handicapped because they don’t have the ability to identify and express emotions. They have tremendous difficulty feeling for the other person simply because they may not recognize the other person’s hurt, elation, discomfort, anxiety, pride, happiness, or anger. What these kids need is an education that provides stronger emotional intelligence: an adequate vocabulary of feelings and then the encouragement to use it. Once they are more emotionally literate and can understand their own feelings their empathy will grow, because they will be far more capable of understanding and feeling other people’s concerns and needs.
We also know that one of the biggest reasons some kids are more sensitive is that they can correctly interpret people’s emotional cues: their tone of voice, posture, and facial expressions. Without that understanding, a child is greatly limited in his ability to react to that person’s needs. The good news is that sensitivity can be nurtured in a child. Here are six proven solutions you can use almost anytime to tune up your child’s awareness of the feelings of others.
1. Praise sensitive, kind actions. One of the simplest and most effective ways of enhancing any behavior is by reinforcing the action as soon as it happens. So whenever you notice your child acting in a sensitive and caring manner, let her know how pleased it makes you feel: “Karen, I love how gentle you are with your baby sister. You pat her so softly, and it makes me so happy knowing how caring you are.”
2. Show the effect of sensitivity. Sensitive, kind acts-even small ones-can make a big difference in people’s lives, so point them out to help your child see the impact his actions made. “Derrick, your grandmother was so pleased when you called to thank her for the present.” “Suraya, did you see the smile on Ryan’s face when you shared your toys?”
3. Draw attention to nonverbal feeling cues. Pointing out the facial expressions, posture, and mannerisms of people in different emotional states sensitizes your child to other people’s feelings. As occasions arise, explain your concern and share what clues helped you make your feeling assessment: “Did you notice Grandma’s face when you were talking with her today? I thought she looked puzzled. Maybe she is having trouble hearing. Why not talk a little louder when you speak with her?” “Did you see the expression on Meghan’s face when you were playing today? She looked worried about something because she had a scowl on her face. Maybe you should ask her if everything is OK.”
4. Ask often, “How does he feel?” One of the easiest ways to nurture your child’s sensitivity is to ask her to ponder how another person feels. As opportunities arise, pose the question often, using situations in books, TV, and movies as well as real life. “How do you think the mommy feels, knowing that her little girl just won the prize?” “The tornado destroyed most of the town here in Georgia; see it here on the map? How do you think the people feel?” “How do you think Daddy feels hearing that his mom is so sick?” Each question forces your child to stop and think about other people’s concerns, and nurtures sensitivity to their needs.
5. Use the formula: “feels + needs.” Michael Schulman and Eva Mekler, authors of Bringing Up a Moral Child, reviewed studies and found that an effective way to increase sensitivity is to ask children questions to help them discover people’s needs and feelings. Such questions were found to expand children’s awareness of what people might be experiencing. As a result the children became more sensitive to how they might be able to help. To use the idea with your child, look for occasions to draw attention to people’s feelings and then ask her to guess what the person might need in order to remedy the feeling. Here is how a parent might use the method:
Parent: Look at that little girl crying in the sandbox. How do you suppose she feels?
Child: I think she is sad.
Parent: What do you think she needs to make her feel better?
Child: Maybe she could use someone to hug her because she hurt her knee.
6. Share why you feel the way you do. One of the best ways to help kids become sensitive to others’ feelings is to share your own. Use situations as they arise to describe how you feel about them and why: “I’m so excited! My new computer is being delivered to me today.” “I am frustrated; yesterday the auto body shop told me that fixing the car would cost five hundred dollars, and now they say it’s going to cost a lot more.” “I’m so tired. The barking dogs kept me up all night.”
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• Foster your child's independence and self-worth. Help your child deal with life's ups and downs. Show confidence in your child's ability to handle problems and tackle new experiences.
• Discipline constructively, fairly, and consistently. Use discipline as a form of teaching, not physical punishment. All children and families are different; learn what is effective for your child. Show approval for positive behaviors. Help your child learn from his or her mistakes.
• Love unconditionally. Teach the value of apologies, cooperation, patience, forgiveness, and consideration for others.
• Do not expect to be perfect; parenting is a difficult job.

Role of Parents in Upbringing Children

Being a parent is one of the most challenging but rewarding jobs anyone could ever adopt. It is the longest task and responsibility that an individual will ever perform. Parenting is an active process that demands that individuals use their skills and knowledge plan, give birth, raise, and provide for children. The parenting process includes protecting, nourishing, and guiding the child. It involves a series of interaction between the parent and the child through the life span.

Just as children go through the stages of development, parents also go through the stages of parenthood that require appropriate parenting stage responsibilities. These stages involve changing task and roles of both parents and children.
1. Image building (conception to birth of the baby)
The young parents dream and build images of ideal parenting and of what they want to become before the baby is born. Parents are reminded of their past and how they were parented, to prepare for the financial needs care and upbringing.
2. Nurturing (Birth – 18 months)
Each child has specific wants and needs that require nurturing. By meeting the needs of the child, a positive relationship can be built, which consistently sends messages of love and support. Expressions of love and affection, listening to the child's ideas, feelings, problems and difficulties, kindness and sympathy, help the child to feel connected to the family and society. Parents build an attachment with the child and identify themselves as a parent, assess and understand what kind of parents they really are. Grand parents, parents in law, friends, and relatives find out how the parents handle this new role. This stage is critical in building trust, bond and close attachment between the parent and the child. Trust emerges as the child's basic needs for warmth, food, dryness of nappy, safety, eye contact, and touch are satisfied. The child's belief and trust of the parent as a dependable source forms the basis and establishes a firm foundation for all future relationships for the rest of the life. Numerous personal adjustments must be made by the mother to meet demands of the baby in terms of resting period, feeding schedule, managing the soiled clothes, maintaining contact, giving personal attention when the baby is at play and shows initiation to become mobile.
3. Authority (18 months to age 5years)
The parents become the persons in charge when the baby begins to walk and talk. This
Is the period when the parents set rules for the child's action and behaviour, decides
When to say yes and when to say no and prepares the child for separation that is to be away for schooling. The parents exercise utmost care to discipline, maintaining consistency, and avoiding ambiguity in giving directions helps the child to conceptualize what is expected of him.
4. Interpretation ( Age 5 to puberty)
The child's question from "what" turns to "why" and "how". This requires explaining each of the queries; the number of such queries grows as the child's language skills grow and understanding expands. Parents will have to respond satisfactorily with convincing replies. The child experiments with rules and social norms, examines the quality of treatment he/she receives and the relationship maintained within the family. The type of parenting used in such situations plays a significant role in determining the sort of adult the child will become. Acceptance, appreciation and affection expressed by parents equip the child to develop a positive attitude and approach towards life. It is at this stage children make harsh conclusions and judgements about parental intentions and actions as they struggle to understand relationships, meaning or realise that other people also have feelings. This stage necessitates parents to interact with the child in an age – appropriate manner. They may need to frequently revisit and revise their parental roles as the child continues to mature. The child may show special interest in materialistic possessions, and might experiment with unique clothing and accessories of dress, appearance and behaviours. Parents can attempt to alter adverse behaviours that occur by making rules age appropriate, modifying expectations when necessary, and by serving as a role model for the child to follow.
5. Preparation for independence (Teen years)
The parents of teenagers face challenges over their authority as parents. A teenager fights with parents in making decisions, and on issues considered as personal matters.
Teenagers begin to show that they are "grown up" and are capable of handling difficult situations themselves, that they are different from their parents in many ways, and that their problems and needs are not well understood by the parents. During such times, teenagers need parental guidance to make decisions and to make tough choices. They need careful and sympathetic listening, brief counselling and independence to prove that they are capable of making certain decisions and able to accept the consequences of such decisions.




Children imitate parents and others adults whom they admire and respect. In recent years, particularly in metropolitan areas, parent education classes have been initiated in an effort to extend parenting knowledge and skills to new parents who reside mainly in nuclear families.
The relationships maintained between the spouses, with their respective parents, with the other family members and between the siblings bear a strong influence on the parenting. In the Indian context, a first – born boy enjoys better parental care than a girl. Last born is more likely to be pampered in a smaller family and neglected in a larger family. Parents who have exposure to baby and child care during their own childhood and adolescence, such as taking care of younger sibling may find parenting easier than those who have had little or no exposure to child care.
The parents of a child, born with certain gifts or disabilities are more likely to face greater parenting stress, strain and effort than parents of a normal child. Typically, educated parent maintain realistic standards, aspirations, and better relationship with their children, so to strengthen parenting skills, parents need to understand and learn about them and also about child development.
Parents with genuine interest in parenting build healthy relationship with school, neighbourhood, and community groups.
Parenting Styles
The styles of parental responses and interactions with their children can be classified into three types (Baumrind, 1971), the styles followed by parents may not fit into any one -category, as parents combine the styles depending on the situation, age and sex of the child. Further, parenting styles shift as Parents gain knowledge about the parenting process through various sources, relate their own experiences, and receive responses/feedback from the child and from significant other ground client The three parenting styles are permissive, authoritarian and authoritative.
Permissive Parenting
Permissive parent give too much freedom, set no limits or boundaries, and provide no guidelines for the child to follow socially accepted norms. They employ little or no punishment. Often these parents are uninvolved in parenting and spend little time with their children, giving excuses of stress and work such parents allow their children to face difficult situations in which they have little or no experience or skill to manage on heir own and to contend with the consequences. Permissive parenting may result in children who have less self-control, become aggressive and irresponsible, and have low self-esteem,
Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parents are demanding, strict, give punishment, and do not allow choices or the freedom to express various opinions. They dislike questioning of their authority, set very high standards, and demand that their standards be satisfied. These
parents value submission, obedience and tradition, while discouraging independence and individuality. This parenting style may produce a child who lacks self-confidence, curiosity and creativity, self-control and who has low self-esteem. Under such parenting style, the child will exhibit difficulty in making one's own decisions and behaving in a socially approved manner under given circumstance.
Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents employ explanations, discussions, reasoning; they balance their parenting style by using punishment and rewards appropriately. Punishment is never harsh or physical. Instead, it is given by way of deprivation of an opportunity or gifts. Moreover, punishment is used only when ample evidence of willful wrongdoing is observed. When children correct their behavior, they are rewarded. Rewards include praise, a pat on the shoulder; a smile or a nod. Generally, the reward is proportionate to the positive behavior that is being reinforced. Such parenting style results in children who have good self-control, high self-esteem, self-confidence, responsibility, independence and control over their emotions.
Practical Suggestions to Understand and Prevent Misbehavior in Children
Effective parenting is often challenged by misbehavior of children. Understanding why children misbehave is important to respond effectively. Children misbehave when they:
• are sleepy, sick, need fresh air, exercise and food,
• are puzzled or unsure about what is expected of them,
• need attention and love, or need to feel secure,
• want to fulfill their curiosity,
• are not physically and mentally ready or able to follow the rules,
• are bored,
• are angry, disappointed and frustrated, and
• want to assert independence.
Strategies and techniques to prevent a child's misbehavior are as under:
• Set rules that are age-appropriate, then help the child to understand the rule and why it is important.
Suggestions for Positive Parenting
Positive parenting is the loving and supportive care provided by both parents. The parenting role has shifting its paradigm from fear-based to love-based. Positive parenting also can be termed 'conscious parenting', or always seeking the betterment of children in the long run. To achieve the goal of treating or rearing children in a way so that today's children can be tomor¬row's healthy and successful adults, key issues involved are as follows:
— The happiness and harmony between father and mother are important prerequisites for a physically fit and mentally happy child.
— Maintaining harmony between parents and children is essential for positive parenting.
— Children should be allowed to explore and do things themselves to enhance their self-esteem, so that they might experience a happy, gratifying, and purposeful life.
— The parents' own behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, and values affect greatly the child's development. Hence, parents need to recognize their own belief system and how it can impact on the lives of their children. Further, they should attempt to keep in tune with the changing times.
— Children need unconditional love and support from their parents for healthy development. Rationalizing, reasoning, giving adequate time, and answering questions are essential on the part of parents. These childrearing practices promote the same future behaviors in their children.
— Support children emotionally at times when they need it most, so that they do not feel let down or alone. It seems likely that a child who feels emotionally isolated senses a breach of faith and trust on the part of the parents.
— Accept each child as an individual with his or her unique gifts and talents. Each child is different; hence comparison with others is unwarranted.
— Positive requests to children, without forcing them to do something, work wonders.
— Showing positive feelings and appreciation for even the small work done by the child will encourage the devel¬opment of confidence and a secure self-concept (i.e., "I feel good about myself and about my abilities").
— Listen carefully to your children and provide support and guidance.
— The relationship of parents with other members of family, relatives, and neighbors affects the general environment to which children are exposed.
— Parent education, in terms of learning and practicing good parenting skills to rear and manage today's children, is essential. Modern-day children are more world-wise, having been exposed to many more situations than their parents, which may lead to a feeling of incompetence and helplessness on the part of the parents to manage their children.
Conclusion
Parenting is not an easy task. Becoming a parent is the easiest part, whereas, being a conscious and positive parent is a momentous task. Parenting is the most important role one faces in a lifetime. Parents who provide an encouraging environment for their children are rewarded when, as adults, their children realize a successful fit into the culture and society.
Parenting concepts are deeply rooted in Indian families, because of a strong, sustained tradition of educating and training young parents to accept, perform and establish enduring relationships and responsibilities with their children. Generally, the young mother is introduced to the nuances of parenting by way of the 'hands on' method at her parental home, and under the guidance of her mother or an experienced family member. This practice could be the reason why the need for professional parent education usually is not expressed.
Effective parenting enables children to build and develop positive behaviors and good, solid self-concepts that are important to functioning fully as a healthy adult. Parenting, as such, is greatly dependent on intra-familial issues that play a significant role in parental performance. However, parenting skills can be strengthened if parents learn about themselves as a 'parent' and about child development. Learning about the stages of human development helps parents understand about their ever, changing roles in the lives of their children and also what is expected of a parent at each stage. Finally, a father's love and influence is as important as a mother's in the life of a child. Fathers should overcome the internal and external barriers that exist to fulfill the duties of fathering.
The concept of parenting and parenthood varies according to region, and varies within the rural, urban and tribal areas in India.