TO WHAT EXTENT IS COMPETING THE BEST MODE OF RESPONDING TO CONFLICT

INTRODUCTION
Because no two individuals have exactly the same expectations and desires, conflict is a natural part of our interactions with others.
A conflict is defined as a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, interests or concerns.
Also a conflict is defined as a process that begins when one party perceives that another party has negatively affected, or is about to negatively affect, something that the first party cares about.
Competing is a style in which one's own needs are advocated over the needs of others. It relies on an aggressive style of communication, low regard for future relationships, and the exercise of coercive power. Those using a competitive style tend to seek control over a discussion, in both substance and ground rules. They fear that loss of such control will result in solutions that fail to meet their needs. Competing tends to result in responses that increase the level of threat.
Competing is assertive and un-cooperative. The person advances their own cause at the expense of the other person. This mode is oriented in the use of whatever power is available to win, whether economic, based on position or the ability to advocate well. This might take the form of defending a position you feel is right, standing up for your rights, or trying to overwhelm the other person in order to win.
Competing is assertive and uncooperative as an individual pursues his own concerns at the other person's expense. This is a power-oriented mode in which you use whatever power seems appropriate to win your own position or your ability to argue, your rank or economic sanctions. Competing means "standing up for your rights," defending a position which you believe is correct, or simply trying to win.

This mode is considered to be very assertive and very uncooperative as sometimes the term power-oriented is associated with this mode. This can be an individual who pursues their beliefs at another person’s expense, using whatever power is appropriate to win his or her position. Although there might be some negative connotations to the way this mode is described, there are absolutely times when it is the best and most effective way to resolve a conflict
There are two sides of the competing mode as presented below;
As for the competing mode, imagine a person approaching conflict with someone holding an opposing idea like this: “I’m going to get my way no matter what you do. If I have to, I’ll get other people involved to support my position. If you do not go along with my decision, I will make life difficult for you.”
Then imagine a person using the competing mode to resolve a conflict along these lines This matter is of utmost importance to me. It will be very difficult for me to achieve my objectives unless you can see and support my point of view. Let me share why I need you to go along with my decision. Perhaps you can then see why I’ve been so insistent on my position.”
As we saw with the avoiding and collaborating modes, the words and tone you express can make a big difference when you’re applying a mode in a conflict situation. With competing, you can assert yourself by trying to intimidate or threaten others as a way of getting them to accept your decision. Alternatively, you can explain to others why a particular issue is so important to you and, therefore, why you want them to concede. Indeed, when competing is used with respect and recognizing that others may need to understand your situation before they comply. It is more likely you will get what you want. But if you treat them as if they do not deserve to know your reasons and motives, you are more likely to face resistance.



CONCLUSION
It is one thing to choose the right mode in a conflict situation, but it is another to implement it effectively so the potential use of that mode is fully realized. If the avoiding mode is the best choice, then avoid in a way that makes others feel valued, appreciated, and respected, and also tell them why you are leaving the situation and perhaps when you will be back. If the collaborating mode is the right choice, then collaborate in a way that encourages a mutually respectful dialogue in return. And if competing is the right mode to use, then use it in a manner that helps others understand and accept your strong position. Naturally, these same principles are relevant to the other modes, compromising and accommodating. In each case, choosing a mode wisely, but also using that mode in the most constructive manner possible, will go far in producing well-being and effective resolutions of conflict, rather than bad feelings and a potential worsening of the situation.












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